Crushin' on...Beirut

Ms. Nunan liked hippos (an arguably ridiculous amount). Ms. Nunan taught Talented and Gifted (to a bunch of jerky kids). Ms. Nunan told us that Talented and Gifted shouldn't be called "T.A.G." because you don't really use articles or prepositions in acronyms (or do you?). Ms. Nunan liked Atlas exercises (who doesn't?). Ms. Nunan taught us how to dance to "ethnic" music...and dance we did.

Whether it was the Russian Circus Bear peanut stomp or the funk-inspired German hand-slappin' Snitzelbach, our little satisfactory/unsatisfactory grade depended upon one pressing issue: our ability to humor Ms. Nunan's dance instructions. Even if you didn't want to hold Drew Kimminy's hand because you knew he just picked his nose, you damned well had to. YOU JUST HAD TO, GODDAMMIT.

If Ms. Nunan's still alive, I hope she's front stoopin' it in her Progressive Womyn's Community for the Aging right now and debating about Beirut--20-year-old Zack Condon's Eastern European/American Folk Lovechild. In fact, that ol' bessie would probably ascertain that Beirut doesn't have the Heat of Balkan Gypsy Soul...but hell, it damn well has me wantin' to recreate the ol' Sicilian Crops Appraisal soft shoe bit.

For serious y'alls, this young, meaty slice of dude pie has been given the official OCCOTM HOTPANTS award...and he's making waves throughout real internet websites, too!

Ay yi yi!

Also, he's totes getting a bangin' assist from Heather Trost and E-Sixer Jeremy Barnes! Nay, not that baldish shred-sion aussie from jeremybarnes.com...but that NMH/AHAAH super-swell hunkatron 5000 with indie cred flyin out his forearms. Gentle readers, I know what I'D do with HIS drum stick..s...

Le sigh...

If you aren't slathering olive oil on yourself to the sweet sounds of Zack's voice yet, you will...

***THIS JUST IN FROM THE OBSCURE CELEBRITY CRUSH STREET TEAM***
OCCOTM will be hitting REAL-LIVE OBSCURE CELEBRITIES with FACT-FINDING QUESTIONS and VALENTINE'S SAMPLERS at this year's legendary SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON!! You heard it here first, gang...it's our duty to find the obscurest crush yet!!

TOODLES!