We all have crushes from time to time. You, me, that guy who sits on the other side of the office wearing earplugs...all of us! Think of this blog as a celebration of crushes...that is, a celebration of celebrity crushes...well, mainly, a celebration of celebrity crushes that you may or may not already know.
Um.
Ladies, gentlemen, please enjoy my vision...of an obscure celebrity crush...of...the...moment.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Totes Crushin' on... Chris Thrash's Hacked Rock-a-fire Band
If only Billy Bob were this badass at my fifth birthday, I might've wanted to learn more about the undying love connection 'tween music and robots.
I don't know much about Chris Thrash other than he owns an entire Rock-a-fire band. I don't know if he keeps it in the basement next to his Mr. Belvedere-in-a-Jar. I don't know if he's super rich, but I can only assume so...that, and he knows how to use computer to tell robots to be more awesomer. I can also assume that he raided a severely undersupervised and abandoned Showbiz Pizza on a cold winter's day. Cheers to you, Mr. Thrash. Cheers indeed.
Those who are familiar with the BestWeekEvering Shutterbugs clan of Aziz Ansari, Rob Huebel, Paul Scheer, and Jason Woliner might recognize them as "those guys that I saw on VH1 talking about shit that one time" or "those guys that show up on Comedy Central maybe sometimes." However, those who are following the NY darlings' every move (like an office worker tracking who might be stealing the goddamn Friday breakroom cinnamon rolls) will also recognize these handsome dudes from the I'm-going-to-pretend-it-launched- really-recently-but-it-lauched-three- months-ago site thehumangiant.com. This interwebbin' comedy quadrilateral churns out the funny and won't stop 'til the U.S. terror alert hits reddest red red red.
If you've developed a love/hate relationship with pitchfork media over the years, then this yootoob is pour vous.
Not only does the above THG short "Meet Clell Tickle" feature the aforementioned fantastic four, but its content centers around OCCOTM fave Tapes 'n Tapes. For serious. Have you heard "Cowbell"? Goddamn, that's a good song. Here we are in our offices, rockin the fuck out to that track. I'm still for serious. Look at me. Now go download The Loon because you are poor and spent your last few cents on Project Runway ringtones.
Hey, while you're still here, check out this bonus Human Giant stuff below. We had the awesomest pleasure of meeting two of them in New York after Shutterbugs self-cancelled. While we expressed our extreme upset with their decision, it helped to receive a live, honest explanation of the show's chosen path.
On with the vid...featuring a guy who came to Atlanta in May...though his name escapes us.
Comic-Con 2k6 update coming soon...! Here's a taste of some of the people we shared oxygen with and/or spied on from a far, far distance: Scott McCloud - Bill Plympton - Channel 101 heart throbs - That guy who created the Gargoyles - Four to five people who were in Mr. Show - Caveman Robot - and a rotating Boba Fett!
Ms. Nunan liked hippos (an arguably ridiculous amount). Ms. Nunan taught Talented and Gifted (to a bunch of jerky kids). Ms. Nunan told us that Talented and Gifted shouldn't be called "T.A.G." because you don't really use articles or prepositions in acronyms (or do you?). Ms. Nunan liked Atlas exercises (who doesn't?). Ms. Nunan taught us how to dance to "ethnic" music...and dance we did.
Whether it was the Russian Circus Bear peanut stomp or the funk-inspired German hand-slappin' Snitzelbach, our little satisfactory/unsatisfactory grade depended upon one pressing issue: our ability to humor Ms. Nunan's dance instructions. Even if you didn't want to hold Drew Kimminy's hand because you knew he just picked his nose, you damned well had to. YOU JUST HAD TO, GODDAMMIT.
If Ms. Nunan's still alive, I hope she's front stoopin' it in her Progressive Womyn's Community for the Aging right now and debating about Beirut--20-year-old Zack Condon's Eastern European/American Folk Lovechild. In fact, that ol' bessie would probably ascertain that Beirut doesn't have the Heat of Balkan Gypsy Soul...but hell, it damn well has me wantin' to recreate the ol' Sicilian Crops Appraisal soft shoe bit.
For serious y'alls, this young, meaty slice of dude pie has been given the official OCCOTM HOTPANTS award...and he's making waves throughout real internet websites, too!
Ay yi yi!
Also, he's totes getting a bangin' assist from Heather Trost and E-Sixer Jeremy Barnes! Nay, not that baldish shred-sion aussie from jeremybarnes.com...but that NMH/AHAAH super-swell hunkatron 5000 with indie cred flyin out his forearms. Gentle readers, I know what I'D do with HIS drum stick..s...
Le sigh...
If you aren't slathering olive oil on yourself to the sweet sounds of Zack's voice yet, you will...
***THIS JUST IN FROM THE OBSCURE CELEBRITY CRUSH STREET TEAM*** OCCOTM will be hitting REAL-LIVE OBSCURE CELEBRITIES with FACT-FINDING QUESTIONS and VALENTINE'S SAMPLERS at this year's legendary SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON!! You heard it here first, gang...it's our duty to find the obscurest crush yet!!
Remember those elementary school assemblies that your faculty and staff used to throw together? Yeah, that's right...those ones that said adult types hoped would encourage you and your peers to better yourselves while also justifying at parent-teacher meetings that LEARNING IS FUN. Lately, one assemblergram in particular comes to mind. No, I'm not talking about the time that touring company of theatre graduates performed the HMS Pinafore for the entire 4th grade. Instead, I'd like to take this opportunity to bring up...
The Esther S. Jackson Elementary School Cafetorium proudly presents...
"Puppets with Disabilities and YOU"
Through the untapped magic of non-equity performance, two master puppeteers explained that being wheelchair-bound means that if you get cut, you bleed, and you actually use those metal bars in the McDonald's bathroom. Also, you shouldn't hit puppets in wheelchairs. They hit back. Thanks to these individuals, a room chock-full of children in metal folding chairs know the truth about life, love, and handi-capable puppetry.
If you're ready, and you're willing, may that self-same elementary assembly whisk us away to our Obscure Celebrity Crush of the Moment: Waverly Films...the cast and crew of Channel 102's Puppet Rapist.
I didn't start watching it until the third episode premiered--mostly because the title sounded like a joke cheaper than Bill Kirchenbauer's soul. However, when I pulled out my internetual magnifying glass to investigate the hype-othesis, my quicktime player almost exploded from Schreier excitement. In a world where puppets and humans coexist, a convicted sex offender gains parole. Somehow, this once-and-possibly-returning puppet rapist must deal with an internal struggle more twisted than Twizzlers Pull-n-Peel. Mmmm. Pull-n-Peel. Surprisingly good production value, even more surprisingly good acting, and hellaciously memorable puppet one-liners ensue.
Puppet Rapist only scratches the surface of these cats' capabilities.
